I can remember a moment in school when I was taught the words ‘introvert’ and ‘extrovert’. They didn’t mean much to be at the time but now I know that it can be a handy word. If you don’t know what an introvert is, it’s basically someone who prefers time to themselves and find busy social situations difficult. If you looked it up in the dictionary, I’m pretty sure you’d see my face!
I’m pretty socially awkward and have been for years. It isn’t that I haven’t tried being social but they’re just not my scene. Unless it’s a Harry Potter quiz or I’m surrounded by friends, then I can handle. A lot of the time people automatically think that introverts are mousy and boring. That’s so far from the truth!
We can be just as fun as extroverts! You just have to take the time to learn how to love being friends with an introvert!
Spend 1-to-1 with your friend
If you know that your friend happens to be an introvert, try spending specific time with them.
There’s something nice and safe about not having to cope with a group of people and trying to make conversation with them all. That’s more likely going to put your friend off coming. You could go for lunch somewhere, look around some book-shops or even go to the cinema.
You’ll have their attention and they will have yours.
Try to understand what it’s like to be an introvert
One of the best ways to know how to be with an introvert friend is to picture what it’s like to be in their shoes.
Take time to see how overwhelming social situations can be for them, know what their boundaries are and find others to be social with them. Not every person will be a shy little butterfly and can probably handle being social, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have a limit.
You’re not being over-the-top by understanding. To be honest, I’d be somewhat flattered that you’ve tried to find ways to help our time be fun for both of us.
Let them have alone time
I’ve had a few friends in the past who have pushed and pushed and pushed for me to come out. One of those friends turned up to my house without ringing first and starting banging on my front door. It was 8am on a Saturday so I didn’t answer. They then started knocking on my downstairs windows. Mum was not happy with her at all and I ended up cutting ties with that person.
I can’t deal with pushy friends.
If a friend prefers not to go out often, don’t push or try to ‘persuade’ them to go. There’s a difference between being geniunely understanding and allowing your friend time and not listening.
LET US BE BLANKET BURRITOS!
Don’t make them feel as if they need to be fixed
This is something that really frustrates me. It’s not just the odd friend who does this but family as well. I do know that most of the time they are only trying to help but it makes you feel like you’re a problem.
You don’t need to be fixed.
You aren’t being awkward.
Being an introvert isn’t some kind of character flaw. We do need pushes to get out there and not disappear into our little comfort zones. Believe me, I would totally love if I could stay home under my blanket reading. If your friend/loved one ever feels like this, try and help by reassuring them that it’s okay. If they don’t want to go out, that’s fine.
It might take us time to open up to you
I like to think that if a person is a real friend then they’ll have patience with someone.
Some people might mistake being introverted for being cold, distant or seemingly uncaring. That is so far from the truth! We just take our time to get used to a person and, if we feel safe, then we’ll open up. As soon as we do, you have us! Our loyalty, our true personality underneath the quietness and more!
Be honoured if you ever see what I’m really like.
I’d love to know if you’re either an introvert, an extrovert or even bits of both. I guess I do have extrovert tendencies whenever I feel really safe with someone. That’s normally when I do non-stop chatting, let you into my thoughts and…you’ll know.
What do you consider yourself as?