Everywhere is shouting that tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and, while I love people showing their partners/fiancees all the love in the world, it can be an utter nightmare for us who are single. My love-life is literally non-existent unless you count the many male characters that I marry in my mind! *sigh*…Arthur Pendragon!
It’s why, tomorrow, I’ll be dating myself for the day.
It probably sounds so wrong and big-headed but who cares? Haha!
Living with depression has, in the past, stripped me of all love for myself both physically and emotionally but it’s one of my mini goals to try and figure out how to self-love again. It feels impossible right now but hopefully be the end of the year I’ll feel a little more at peace with myself.
Valentine’s Day has always been a dodgy day for me, even when I was younger.
When I was at school, I was like all the other giggly girls who used to have crushes on a certain boy and hid in the corner of the playground with my friends, whispering behind my hand and giggling when said boy looked over at us. You know what I’m on about, ladies!
As soon as I entered the hell of secondary school, everything went so odd! I got too scared to approach any boy that I liked the look of and just wrote secret hearts in the back of my book. I learned my lesson to never tell anyone…I told someone who was my friend, she told the guy and he came and said ‘why would I love someone ugly like you?’, laughing in my face.
13 year old Daisy’s heart was broken.
Between that and finding out the one boyfriend I’ve had (at 17 and was 3 years older than me) been dating another girl at the same time and had proposed to her without me knowing…love sucks.
It’s embarrassing to admit but I haven’t had a boyfriend since that time and, being the social outcast that I am, I’m never really out to meet anyone new or confident enough to approach anyone. Mum used to say that I would flirt with some guys so she could tell my confidence was getting better but never enough to do anything.
This is why dating myself on the day of love seems like a decent option, especially for a mental health warrior like me!
How will you be spending your Valentine’s Day this year?