While everyone is focusing on more physical goals for 2019, I’m doing my best to focus on goals that deal with my mental health. Oh, don’t worry! I have a little list to do with my life that I’ll share eventually but, after the horror that was 2017/18, I need to finally sit down and get my head literally around what the heck I’m thinking and feeling. That’s why I want to set myself some mental 2019 goals to keep me on track through the year.
Psh, I know we haven’t even had Christmas yet but it takes time to understand what I need!
Take my medication on time
I can’t be the only one who has forgotten to take their medication when they’re supposed to! Haha! I’m meant to take mine once a day but, when you get yourself into a downward spiral, the last thing you want to do is take medication! I’m so forgetful! I always manage to take the first tablet but constantly miss the second because the evening is when I’m most preoccupied! That and this medication made me feel very off for a while!
To not beat myself up if I don’t do something
This is one of my worst habits! If I set myself a goal such as healthy eating or going to the gym that day and I don’t do it, the inner me lets rip on me! Telling me how I’m so fat, how I’ll never look the way I want to, how ugly I am compared to everyone else and that I’m an utter waste of space for not even trying. I have to force my head to understand that sometimes it’s either financially or physically impossible to do the things I want.
When my anxiety kicks in, I have to stay indoors until it calms down to a point where the thought of heading out is okay and that prevents me from both going to the gym and going to do some shopping. I have an awful habit of comparing myself to others around me, whether it be their fashion, their makeup or just the fact that they have someone they can talk to. I need to teach myself to take everything one day at a time and that being overwhelmed isn’t a bad thing. It just means that I’m busy.
I will not listen to my inner voice
If you haven’t guessed, the inner voice is the voice that tries to pretend it’s your friend by telling you the honest truth but it’s just bullying you. It’s the nemesis of a depressed person and I hate mine with a vengeance! For as long as I can remember, this voice has made me feel like the dirtiest piece of muck on the bottom of a shoe. If I get offered an amazing opportunity in London or somewhere from home, it will tell all the nastiest things that will happen to me if I go. That and how I’m not good enough to go! Can you see why one of my 2019 goals is to stop listening to it?
Instead of telling myself all of these nasty things, I’m going to take a deep breath and remind myself of the good I have done in the day whether it’s getting ready and saying thank you to myself or saying morning to someone as I walk to catch my bus. The littlest things can make the biggest difference.
Learn to accept compliments
Every now and again, I get someone saying ‘you look gorgeous!’ or ‘wow, that really suits you!’ and inside my head I’m laughing hard. They think I look gorgeous? Are they looking at the right person? I’m so far from gorgeous it’ll make your head spin! My self-hate never lets me believe what people say but that’s because I was told I was ‘so ugly that I should die’ in school. I’m not promising that I’ll be able to this goal because I have decades of self-hate to get over. If it’s on my 2019 goals list, then I have to at least do my best!
Stop myself feeling guilty from spending
I hate treating myself to things and, when I do, I feel constantly guilty for spending any money on me. It doesn’t matter if it’s essential…I’ll still feel bad! Again, I’ll still feel guilty but I’ll try to feel less if I need the thing I’m spending money on, ‘kay?
What 2019 goals have you set yourself for your mental health?